I Remember
by dog with a blog
Summary: And what I remember the most was how much I didn't hate him. I remember how much I loved him.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Young Justice or any of it's characters

* * *

They weren't just any ordinary green. They were different, special. They were fresh Christmas trees waiting anxiously to find a home. They were the emeralds that scattered along my grandmothers necklace, the one that was now nothing but a broken memory. They were the 4 leaf clovers I used to desperately search for, the ones that seemed to be the only way out of my misery, the only escape from a broken home. They were the crisp $5 bills I would receive that were for going straight to the supermarket to buy milk and bread and coming straight home, no talking to strangers, and if I had enough left over I could buy myself a candy bar, a rare treat that I had the pleasure of consuming only when mom and dad had a long night out. They were the soft grass I would lie in, the kind that was my safe haven from a dysfunctional family, the kind that grew in patches in the sad little abandoned park around the corner from our apartment, the kind that if you found a good enough patch, you could find yourself in a bed far more comfortable that the one sitting in your own bedroom.

* * *

I hate him, I swear I do! I hate his stupid little smirk, the one that can make you doubt even the things you're the most sure of. I hate his annoying orange freckles that dance across his nose, the ones that convince you that they aren't freckles at all, but tiny stars, that illuminate his face like the night sky. I hate his matching orange hair, the hair that resembles fire, the alarming hair that when seen from the corner of your eye, you know that it could be nobody else but him.

But the one thing I can't seem to hate no matter how hard I try, are his eyes. No matter what I just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe it's because when I look into them, I see the whole world. Or when I look into them I'm lying in that patch of grass, staring up at the stars, or when I look into them I feel like all my troubles are behind me, or when I look into them I feel as if I'm looking into the future. Now when I see green all I can see is him, and it's really pissing me off! I mean my entire costume is green for christ's sake can't a girl catch a break! As if I want to see his ugly mug every time I'm getting dressed for a mission! Ugh no freaking thank you, I do not want to see that face unless I absolutely have too. Even then It's not like I enjoy it, I mean c'mon me? Enjoying looking at him? Yeah sure, over my dead cold lifeless body! But that's besides the point, and the point is, I hate him. I hate him I hate him I hate him. There, you see? Clearly I hate him, no if ands or buts and no exceptions. Even if he has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen that doesn't change how much I hate him, and boy do I hate him!

* * *

Today they are grey. They are a cold lifeless grey. They are storm clouds hovering in a night sky. They are the stone floor that covers our kitchen, the floor I've had to wipe blood from far too many times. They are my mom's mirror, the only thing she has left of her life in Vietnam, now left shattered in the basement, my mothers blood still haunting the cracks. They are the full moon that lingered in the sky the night they took mom away, the one I prayed to for a lack of anything else to pray to, the one I called upon to bring my mom back to me, the one that promised hope but delivered emptiness. Today his eyes match the lonely grey color of mine, and that's what scares me the most.

I should have been more careful. I should have seen it coming. I thought I was smarter than this. I thought that after years of living under this malicious monster, I would have known that he had no problem with stabbing me in the back, literally. I didn't see it coming, but he did. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid to think that my dad had even an ounce of decency in him. I'm stupid to think that he wouldn't give his life for mine in a heartbeat, that he wouldn't think twice to jump in front of a speeding blade just to be sure that it had no chance of harming me, that he wouldn't be the hero, for just once in his life. I should have been more careful. It was my fault the green was ripped away from his eyes, and it's my fault that grey clouded into them.

* * *

I remember the grey in his eyes as he turned to me with the knife in his stomach. I remember the loud thud his body made as it hit the cold floor. I remember how he cried out in pain as he ripped it out, only to collapse in defeat. I remember the haunting cackle that came from sportsmaster as he sauntered back into the shadows to make his escape. I remember that nobody went after him, because nobody cared, it didn't matter. I remember M'gann's sobs and Robin's trembling hands. I remember the booming noise that came from conner's fist colliding with a nearby wall, and I remember the single tear escaping from Kaldur's eye as he hung his head, as if he was the one to blame. And what I remember the most is how fast I ran. Not as fast as him, that's for sure, but for a moment I felt as if I was flying. I remember kneeling beside him and cradling him into my lap, searching for the boy with the emerald eyes. I remember the salty taste of my tears as they escaped my eyes and fell to the corners of my mouth. I remember how everyone stood silently around us, I would almost say they were shocked to see my reaction, but I knew better. Somehow I knew that they had known for a long time, far longer than I did.

I looked down into his eyes, now a haunting grey, and searched for the green they once were, "Please Wally", was all I could muster. I didn't know what exactly I was asking for, but I knew whatever it was I wasn't going to get as I felt his breath getting shorter.

All he could muster in response was a pathetic, "I'm sorry Artemis, I'm so sorry", as he wiped the tears from my cheek, allowing his hand to linger a little longer as he stroked the loose strands of hair that now framed my face.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed as hard as I could, I thought that if I squeezed hard enough I could save him, I wanted nothing more than to save him, like he had saved me. It should have been me. This should have been my goodbye, not his.

* * *

I remember how he smiled at me with his last breath. I remember how he tried his best to look as if he wasn't in any pain, but he didn't do a very good job of it. I remember how cold he felt when it was over. I remember how I sat there, with him in my lap, rocking him back and forth and sobbing into his hair for what felt like hours. I remember Kaldur's hand on my shoulder, with his face turned away. I remember how loud M'gann's sobs were as she cried into Conner's chest. I remember how hard Conner was holding M'gann, and how hard he tried to stay strong for her, but didn't succeed. I remember hearing robin's curses and how he threw everything he could get his hands on until there was nothing left to break. I especially remember how much I wanted to see his eyes again, even for just one moment, one last time.

I remember Wally West. I remember his jokes, and how angry they made me. I remember how fast he ran and how smart he was. I remember how he was stubborn and always had to be right about everything. I remember how much he tried to make everyone else happy but, never himself. I remember his bright orange hair and his matching freckles. I remember his bright green eyes, and how beautiful they were. And what I remember the most was how much I didn't hate him. I remember how much I loved him.


End file.
